Alexandra Watkins is the Founder & Chief Innovation Officer at Eat My Words, a San Francisco based creative naming agency known for creating unforgettable brand names. The following post originally appeared in her blog and is reposted here with her express permission.

Announcing the most frightful brand name of 2011… the Head Scratcher of the Year goes to…

Ironically, the global search for Eat My Words’ annual Head Scratcher of the Year winner produced the disastrous mash-up of those very two words global + search: Glearch. This trainwreck of two perfectly good words is without a doubt, the worst brand name of 2011. Honorable mention goes to Qwikster (died a quik death), Helishopter (what the heli were they thinking?), and Fooducate (so similar to fornicate, it sounds like something you could be arrested for if you did it in the aisle of your local Safeway).

The unanimous response to Glearch is it conjures up terrifying images of Lurch, the freakishly tall and ghoulish manservant from the Addam’s Family, who never spoke, using only grunts, sighs, or simple gesticulations. This is never a good thing. Glearch also reminds people of the word, lurch, which has many unfortunate definitions. And it’s hard to spell… Glerch, Glurch, Glurruch… you shouldn’t need a search engine to find Glearch. Duh.

We admit that Glearch is actually a pretty cool tool. It lets you search by country, language, and/or by search engine. Clearly someone very smart created it. Unfortunately they were not as skilled when it came to creating the name. As with past Head Scratcher winners, including Xobni, Speesees, Shwowp, and Shryk, we suspect Glearch was the result of a drunken Scrabble game. Tip: Just because a domain name is available on GoDaddy for $9.95 does not mean that is what you should name your company.

As the winner of Eat My Words’ 2011 Head Scratcher of the Year award, Glearch will receive a freakishly tall gold plated trophy. (We’re also happy to give them some complimentary name consulting should they decide to glearch for a new name.)

Special props go to super sleuth Charles Knight, of AltSearchEngines, who tipped us off to the name Glearch, along with dozens of others clunkers, over the past few months. Charles suggested a new definition for Glearch: a verb meaning, to turn something wonderful into something terrible. We submitted “glearch” and its new definition to the Urban Dictionary, where you can now find it listed.

Please continue to send us bad names for our 2012 Head Scratcher contest. And if you want to make sure the next brand name you come up with doesn’t win that freakishly tall trophy, take the Eat My Words SMILE & SCRATCH name evaluation test to see if your name sucks. Of course, please contact us right away if your name does indeed suck. Operators are standing by.

Larry Dodd is a proven financial leader, consultant and trainer who applies an innovative, people-centered approach that helps the teams that he serves turn problems into business opportunities.

His professional career includes CFO roles with Robert Half’s CFO Services (consulting); Signature Properties and Meritage Homes. His client experience ranges from startups to established companies with revenues in excess of $1 billion. Larry’s industry knowledge spans health care, agriculture, auto racing, high technology, Major League Baseball, manufacturing, professional services and real estate development. His diverse array of clients are linked by a critical need to make a change in their business.

In 2011 Larry returned to his entrepreneurial roots by founding OpenPlaybook™, a consulting company specializing in change management consulting, management training and leadership coaching. OpenPlaybook helps companies and the people that lead them turn adversity into success, one team at a time. OpenPlaybook provides the leaders of change with the tools they need to unite the right team with the right vision; to discover and share individual team member strengths; and to provide a clear playbook outlining individual responsibilities and their impact on the team’s mission as a whole. The result is an effective team committed to the transformation process and to each other in a spirit of mutual accountability.

Pro-Track Profile

Larry honed his speaking and training skills by serving as an Instructor for Dale Carnegie Training where he taught hundreds of business people how to become more effective leaders and communicators by strengthening their human relations and public speaking skills. He is also a polished public speaker and management trainer. His topics include transforming organizations with strong, people-centered values; building stronger interpersonal relationships; developing and maximizing leadership skills; the business of running a Major League Baseball team and changing careers. In addition, he has served as a guest Instructor on Leadership for the University of San Francisco’s MBA in Sports Management Program.

To hear more about Larry’s background and what attracted him to the 2012 NSA Northern California Pro-Track program, click on the podcast icon below.

Interview: Larry Dodd [ 3:43 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Laura Stack is a personal productivity expert, author, and professional speaker. Her mission is to build high-performance productivity cultures in organizations by creating Maximum Results in Minimum Time®. She is the president of The Productivity Pro®, Inc., a time management training firm, specializing in productivity improvement in high-stress organizations as well as the current president of the National Speakers Association.

Laura brought the spirit of Cavett Robert alive on Saturday for the 100 members and guests of the Northern California chapter who were lucky enough to attend an awesome meeting to kick-off 2012. “The spirit of Cavett is”, Laura said, “all about making the pie larger, and which other association would have members who openly share their best trade secrets with everyone else?”

And Laura shared, boy, how she shared!

Laura has built a successful business as The Productivity Pro® with clients such as Microsoft and DayTimer as well as a growing number of individual fans. Her 14,000 followers on Twitter receive a tip of the day listing “Time Management Skills for Maximum Results in Minimum Time”.

In fact, when the 2008 recession hit and her corporate business dried up, Laura actively sought out consumers and has focused her website around sales of consumer-friendly $39-$79 price-point downloadable audio and video products that have made her a quarter-of-a-million-dollars in income since then.

Here’s how she did it.

Build a website focused around online products

In addition to offering the usual speakers menu choices of keynote, seminars and coaching services, Laura’s website focuses on webinars, video training is, and courseware that can be ordered online. Here’s her step-by-step guide on how anyone can duplicate her success using these methods.

The secrets of selling on-line webinars

• Become a subject matter expert in your chosen topic.
• Choose a package like GoToWebinar or WebEx.
• Find companies or associations who will promote your events to their lists. Expect that only 50% of those who sign up will actually attend. Give an Association discount of 20% and kickback 20% of the registration fee to the Association. Make sure you keep the e-mails of all those who register for your own list.
• Charge $39 for an individual webinar and offer a series discount of $119.



• Guard against multitasking by the audience with a vast number of graphically compelling PowerPoint slides. If your topic would typically use 35 slides in an auditorium, plan on having 125 slides for a webinar. Make use of polls, encourage audience responses in the question monitor and deliver at a fast pace to keep the audience’s attention.
• Avoid specific references to your slides in the webinar. This allows you to strip out the audio and sell it for $7.99 as an MP3.
• Never, ever, distribute the PowerPoint source files. Only send out PDF to prevent people bootlegging your seminars.
• Keep track of any comments and questions as a source of topics for future webinars.
• Set up a shopping cart on your site to take money from customers for the webinars. Laura uses Cyberstrong – a one-charge chart that does what she needs.
• Charge a $390 site license if multiple people at one location if would like to take the webinar. A $1,390 licence covers multiple locations. A $2,500/hr fee for custom webinars.
• Don’t distribute the link for the webinars. Instead once people register, enter their name and e-mail into the system and have it generate a reminder for them to login— this prevents people sending the login to their friends.
• Take the raw video file from the webinar and turn it into a product for people who are unable to make the live event. Post the video on Vimeo — invest in a $200 Vimeo Pro license so that you can password-protect the screening download which you tag as private. Put that password-protected link in a page on your site available from an e-learning drop-down menu.

For me, that last tip was worth the price of the whole day!

Make money from home selling video training

Laura’s second major money-spinner uses a green screen studio at home to record compelling video tutorials. Again, she shared a step-by-step guide.

• Purchase a green screen backdrop or paint the wall of your spare room with the appropriate paint.
• Make sure you have a suitable HD digital camera and tripod and a 64-bit desktop computer.
• Sign up for a community college class so you qualify for the student edition of the Adobe Premiere or Adobe visual communicator software package.
• Purchase a GoSpeak portable microphone system with a wireless transmitter for a lapel mike. (You don’t need the speakers, they are an added bonus for your next podium presentation.)
• Hire a designer from elance or fiverr.com to create custom backgrounds for your green screen.
• Place posters with cartoon faces around the room you record in so that you have an “audience” to relate to.
• Record your video training: stand in front of the green screen, plug the wireless mic into the camera which feeds audio and video to the PC where the Adobe software records a timeline of the presentation. In post-production you add lower thirds and a suitable backdrop. Leave pauses for group activity and learner response.
• Distribute these large video files to customers who purchase via YouSendIt.com or, if they require, burn a DVD and mail it.

Here’s a sample of Laura’s green screen video:

Laura Stack, The Productivity Pro(R), shares tips on overcoming procrastination. (C) 2011 Laura Stack, All Rights Reserved http://www.theproductivitypro.com

I’ve just come across Alexei Kapterev’s 2007 slideshare presentation that has attracted over a million hits. Take a look:

Kapterev will be presenting on February 23, 2012 at the UK Speechwriters’ Guild London Spring Conference.

Dona M. Wong’s slim volume is a beautifully printed guide to “The Do’s and Don’ts of Presenting Data, Facts, and Figures”. As a former graphics director at the WSJ she set standards that made sense of complex data for readers. As a student of well-known PowerPoint critic Edward Tufte she takes the theories of the author of The Visual Display of Quantitative Information out of the realm of academia and applies them in the world of modern finance and content-rich, data-intensive charts beloved of subject matter experts in the corporate world.

The book is a series of tutorials on all aspects of presenting data, from the choice of color and font to the correct way to align numbers and represent proportions in pie charts. It’s all deceptively simple – a simplicity which so often evades the grasp of the engineering or financial professional who is at a loss to communicate the essence of their data in a way people can understand and avoids burying the audience in detail:

Examples of confusing, misleading, and ineffective graphics are everywhere today. Many charts have sophisticated and intelligent underlying information , but the presentation fails to convey the intended message.

Each page of Wong’s book serves as a ready reference on the right way to communicate information.

Three essential elements of good information graphics

Wong states that good graphics are built on three elements:

1. Rich content – to bring meaning to the graphic.
2. Inviting visualization – that interprets the content and highlights the essence of the information for the audience.
3. Sophisticated execution – that brings the content and graphics to life.

Essential steps to create effective charts

The basics on which the book is based are worth memorizing as an antidote to clients who feel a need to do a data dump on an audience. In summary:

Start with authoritative sources … identify your key message … filter and simplify the data … choose the right chart type to present the data … review the outcome against the sources … let the data speak for itself … create the right comparisons … supply a reference point to frame the data … follow basic rules of legibility.

Do’s and Don’ts

The bulk of the book is a series of Do’s and Don’ts that examine each type of chart in turn. For example, with pie charts, Wong makes it clear why the largest segment should always be placed to the right of the 12 o’clock position:

It’s astonishing how often graphics designers ignore this simple rule and print counter-intuitive charts, as in this example published in the FT on Saturday December 17 (p. 12):

Low-hanging fruit

In fact, finding charts to improve is not a problem. Go browse the PowerPoint archives or visit the financial and engineering web pages in your organization. Armed with a copy of this book you’ll find lots of low-hanging watermelons to perform a makeover on, and score some brownie points with the VP of Communications in the process.

Carey C. Giudici is an award-winning journalist, poet and essayist who has decades of experience using extraordinary language to help individuals, businesses and communities tap into all of their resources and insights. This posting is an adapted version of one of six blog posts entitled “Write Like A Pro.” The series, along with a number of other blogs about marketing and business, are at http://www.likedandtrusted.com.

These days, your local Starbucks can get quieter than a library.

People go there to “engage” digitally with crowds of strangers they’ll never lay eyes on, rather than chat with people at the next table.

Maybe they’re looking for greater control over every encounter. Or like the convenience and variety of instant access to unlimited media and channels in their personal corners of the “convergence culture.” Or perhaps they doubt their social abilities. There are opportunities and challenges for all of us here.

The opportunity to “go viral” if we can write vivid and persuasive content that’s driven by a big idea. And a real danger of disappearing without a trace if we don’t.

The legendary advertising executive and designer David Ogilvy was an excellent communicator. He created many of the most effective print and broadcast ads in history. His principles form the fountainhead for branding, “tribe” building and push-pull marketing strategies.

“Tell the truth,” he said. “But make the truth fascinating. You can’t bore people into buying your product, you can only interest them into buying it.”

His advice to have “big ideas” and be remarkable is more important than ever– for speakers and business owners as well as advertisers and marketers.

Every professional speaker today is in advertising. Focus on telling the truth and wrapping it in a fascinating story. Engage your audiences and make them hungry for more.

And to get more clients, you could do worse than follow the four-step process that Ogilvy laid out in Chapter 2 of his 1963 book, Confessions of an Advertising Man.

All those people hunkered over their laptops in Starbucks are searching for, or experiencing, messages imbued with the wisdom that Ogilvy brought to life decades ago.

Watch this well produced and thought provoking four minute video and make Ogilvy’s advertising philosophy your engagement strategy. It’s what most great speakers do.

They say to never judge a book by its cover. One can only hope that Sam Leith’s book on rhetoric, You Talkin’ to Me, rises above the graphic design disaster of its open-mouthed, red-lipped cover. It richly deserves to.

Leith’s book is, in fact, a magnificently entertaining romp through the intricacies of classic rhetorical technique from Aristotle to Obama. He traces the art of persuasion from its ancient origins to the modern world. Rhetoric is all around us. And Leith cleverly explains how the nuts and bolts of rhetoric work in speeches from Cicero, to Elizabeth I to Richard Nixon and Obama.

Rhetoric is language at play; language plus. It is what persuades and cajoles, inspires and bamboozles, thrills and misdirects. It causes criminals to be convicted and then frees those criminals on appeal. It causes governments to rise and fall, best men to be ever after shunned by their friends’ brides and perfectly sensible adults to march with steady purpose towards machine guns.

He thoroughly examines the technical language of rhetoric, explaining terms such as auxesis (“a generalized term for cranking things up, the use of inflated language”), paralipsis (“discussing material in a speech while pretending you’re not going to talk about it”) and tmesis (“sticking a word or phrase into the middle of another word. Do people really do that? Abso-fackin’-lutely!”).

The book is structured around the classical subdivisions of rhetoric. First, the five aspects of rhetoric – invention, arrangement, style, memory and delivery. Then, the three branches of oratory: the deliberative or legislative (an appeal to action), the judicial (dealing with questions of justice) and the epideictic (speeches of praise and blame).

Unexpected comparisons

But the genius of the book, where it rises far above the abysmal cover art, is the irreverent and humorous range of examples he calls on to illustrate rhetoric in action. Sure, he trots out the usual cast of characters found in most of the books on speechwriting: Churchill, Martin Luther King, Cicero, and Lincoln. But I know of no other book on the subject which applies equal rigor to a rhetorical analysis of eight-year-old Eric Cartman’s song “Kyle’s Mom’s a Bitch” from South Park. Or compares the speaking abilities of Satan in Milton’s Paradise Lost with the Devil’s “rhetorical chops” in the Peter Cook and Dudley Moore movie Bedazzled.

Time and again he makes rhetoric come alive in our world. Consider ethos:

From the school playground to the battlefield, from the mean streets of South Central Los Angeles to the annual conference of the Confederation of British Industry, who you are is the first thing you need to establish if you intend to be heard.

Indeed, who would expect Jennifer Lopez’s appeal to ethos as “I’m still Jenny from the block” to be compared with the opening Adolf Hitler’s speech workers in Berlin “Once I stood amongst you”.

Or to have the ascending tricolon – a set of three terms, increasing in force – at the start of Mark Antony’s funeral speech in Julius Caesar (“Friends, Romans, countrymen … ”) compared with the opening chords of AC/DC’s 1980 single “Back in Black” (“a single stressed syllable, then a trochee, then a dactyl … DUM! DUH-Dum! DUH-duh-dum!”).

British rhetoric

American readers should be forewarned about the use of British idiom and references. You’ll get more out of the book if you not only know what a “fortnight ” is; but something about the reputation of the politician George Osborne, and Mandy Rice-Davies’s role in the Profumo scandal. You’ll also need to be aware of what being “saluted by a disgruntled van driver on the Hangar Lane Gyratory” implies (Americans might say “being given the finger on the New Jersey Turnpike”).

The Unknown Speechwriter

I especially enjoyed the chapter on political speechwriters. He acknowledges Judson Welliver, the first presidential speechwriter, who served in Warren Harding’s time. He reviews Ronnie Millar’s contribution to Margaret Thatcher’s speech on becoming the first woman prime minister – showing where the politician inserted edits into the writers’ original draft. Likewise, Peggy Noonan’s work with Ronald Reagan and her battles with the policy wonks in the administration who fought against what they saw as overly poetic drafts is reviewed.

Two lessons

Two lessons from the book stand out. The first is that rhetoric needs to be matched to the occasion. Martin Luther King’s “I Have a Dream” speech used biblical texts and call and response phrasing that resonated with the largely African-American audience.

The second big point is that it is vital, in speechwriting, to get as much said as quickly as possible. Lincoln’s Gettysburg address was a mere 250 words, delivered after the main speaker, Edward Everett, had droned on for hours.

Sam Leith’s book meets his goal of showing how rhetoric is not just a dry academic subject, but “gathers in the folds of its rope everything makes us human”. As for that cover … enough said.

Manuela Pauer, CPCC is a Certified Professional Coach and workshop leader. She is an authority in personal leadership and self empowerment. She works with clients who are stuck doing what they think they “should” be doing, rather than what they want to be doing. Her specialty is helping people fall in love with themselves so they can fall in love with their life.

Her work experience spans Strategy Consulting at Bain & Company, Product Management and Strategic Development at a successful start-up, and Executive Director of Product Management and Strategic Planning at AOL.

Manuela left the corporate world behind 4 years ago, when it became clear that she was feeling deeply unhappy despite her career success. She decided to give up the career she had worked so hard for to get back in touch with who she was and to find a vocation she loves. She realized that looking successful on the outside means nothing without feeling successful on the inside. And in order to feel successful on the inside, she had to fully accept and fall in love with herself first. Today, she is sharing the process she went through with other professionals who feel unfulfilled or stuck in their lives or careers and helps them rediscover their passion and purpose.

Manuela completed her coach and leadership training at the Coaches Training Institute and her relationship systems training at the Center for Right Relationships. She holds a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration from the University of California at Berkeley.

Public Speaking

Manuela’s audiences walk away with new insights and practices that they can implement right away to increase their confidence, improve their relationships, and re-power their lives and careers.

Her most popular presentations include:

• Transform Your Inner Critic into Your Inner Champion
• The Five Fallacies of Success that Keep Us Overworked, Overwhelmed, and Unhappy
• Authentic Leadership: Making an Impact While Being True to Who You Are

You can register here for her upcoming workshops.

Pro-Track Profile

Manuela is a member of the Northern California Chapter of the National Speakers Association Pro-Track class of 2011.

I interviewed Manuela during a recent Pro-Track class and reviewed her reasons for enrolling in the program and why she recommends it to others. She also shares her insights into her role as a life coach and a simple but powerful tip to help people improve their self-esteem. To hear what she told me, click on the podcast icon below.

Interview: Manuela Pauer [ 5:18 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

I’ve blogged about ways to represent large numbers that uses images of a trillion dollars stacked on pallets. Now, thanks to Kostas, my financial adviser, here’s a fascinating chart that’s all about money.

To view, be sure to click on the ‘+’ symbol in the upper left of the screen a few times until you can see the chart detail. There’s graphical representation of the value of dollars, thousands, millions, billions and trillions. It’s all here, from the cost of buying the world a Coke – and teaching the world to sing – to the value of $1000 invested at 5% over time:

Given the focus on the 1% that the Occupy movement has, this part of the chart shows that they might want to narrow the focus to the top 1/500th percent:

Elsewhere in the chart it shows that the 1.6 million US households which make up the top 1% claim a fifth of all household wealth ($2 trillion) while the next 9 million households share the next $2 trillion, down to the 63 million households making up the bottom 50% who earn below $55,000 annually. That, together with the chart showing the hourly income of CEOs today compared to production line workers, makes for some compelling infographics to paper the walls of your tent in Zuccotti Park.

Paul Larsen is an engaging and inspiring business consultant with over 20 years of experience within the business world. He has a proven track record of success in advancing strategic thought, streamlining operations, driving profits, and maximizing organizational growth and development within Fortune 100, start-up, high-tech, and non-profit environments.

Paul realizes that many organizations today are overrun with the “tourist” mentality: “Let someone else figure it out and then tell me what to do.”

Paul asks:

On life’s journey…are you a Tourist or a Traveler? Do you drive your tour bus or let someone else do the driving? Do you set your own itinerary or let someone else schedule your life?

Paul relishes all opportunities to transform leaders and teams from being “tourists” in their own companies into being “true travelers” and thus, take initiative and ownership for their results. The outcome is the creation of a well-connected, agile and motivating workplace of amazing results.

Paul is a frequent conference and workshop speaker on leadership and development at such organizations as the Southern Oncology Association of Practices (SOAP), American Society of Training & Development (ASTD), and the Northern California Human Resource Association (NCHRA). His organizational development work has been featured in the latest book, Consulting on the Inside by Bev Scott and B. Kim Barnes. And his latest article, “Your Front Office: Create Fantastic First Impressions that Last!” was recently featured in the journal of the Professional Association of Health Care Office Management (PAHCOM).

Paul has a B.A. in History from the University of the Pacific and a M.A. in Human Resources Organizational Development from the University of San Francisco. He is a current member of the Society of Human Resource Management (SHRM), NCHRA, ASTD and the Bay Area Organization Development Network (BAODN). In his spare time, he can be found somewhere in the world helping communities as a member of a project team with Global Volunteers.org.

Pro-Track Profile

Paul is a member of the Northern California Chapter of the National Speakers Association Pro-Track class of 2011.

I interviewed Paul during a recent Pro-Track class and reviewed his reasons for enrolling in the program and the value he gets from the “learning community” of fellow speakers. He also shares his insights into his role as a coach and consultant. To hear what he told me, click on the podcast icon below.

Interview: Paul Larsen [ 4:57 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download