I wrote at length about my personal experience living and learning with Bubba Free John, as Adi Da was then known, between 1973 and 1977. My article, called “The Path of No Seeking,� can be found at http://www.maieutikos.com-a.googlepages.com/home. I hope that it offers some balance in the public discussion that has followed his death. Since Adi Da died on November 27, of the year that just ended, I’ve been re-visiting some of my experiences.

I loved the Master and his teachings. I was never a blind sheep who does anything the Master says. I accepted and acknowledged my true spiritual relationship with Franklin Jones as a genuine spiritual teacher.

Franklin, for me, was the person who led me into the practice deep meditation in the Hindu tradition which I had first encountered at the Vedanta Temple in Hollywood. Franklin worked in this tradition with his own teachers and other teachers from India, such as Ramana Maharshi. In those early years, Franklin came to me as a gift, a source of humor, wisdom, yogic initiations into deeper meditation, a delving into the mystical within the varying great traditions, with a respect that there are many sacred teachers & teachings.� Adi Da said “All is Sacred� and St. Ignatius encouraged me to “Find God in All Things.�

I was very close to Adi Da, so when in the mid-80’s the media gave full uncritical coverage to some stories of dissidents in the community—they were only allegations—I was shocked and disappointed. In the 70’s I didn’t feel at all attached to conventional sexuality; I wanted to go with the “free love� currents of those years. Looking back I have to admit it was a failed experiment, but I don’t regret trying to live “in a hippie commune� while doing spiritual practices. I was never encouraged to abuse my wife. Rather I was encouraged to understand the anger inside and addiction to power that wanted “to dominate� anyone. I felt the sexual experimentation was between consenting adults, who always have the freedom to say yes or no. I wasn’t a dissident regarding sexual experimentation, but I was a dissident saying I just don’t believe in everything Franklin, Bubba would say and along with my best friend, Marcus Holly, never felt any compulsion or “thought control.� In the very early days, I felt questioning, even disagreement, was welcome. I openly said, for example, that I don’t believe in reincarnation.

By the time I began to see what I thought were mistakes in the direction that the community was taking. I felt that the attitude “we’re the only ones; I’m God exclusively� got the upper hand. Others felt as I did and several left like I did, but I didn’t leave with feelings of anger from or for the teacher or the community. Rather I felt that the community and Adi Da were forming a cult around the guru that was suffocating the teaching. It was the end of a cycle along the journey of growth.

I’ve never regretted those 4 years with Adi Da—they were great, but by 1977, my gut was telling me to leave. I was able to say good-bye and state my reasons for leaving the community. I didn’t like that the community was closing itself off. For example, one time, fellow former Jesuit Jerry Brown, came to the land to visit with Bubba but was turned away, for some dumb reason. I said this was such bullshit and my buddy, Marcus Holly, couldn’t get it either: “What the hell is Bubba afraid of. People like Jerry and Bubba would mutually benefit from connection.� I said that I didn’t understand why we were starting to get cultish when the teaching was totally against surrounding “anything�—a guru, a teaching, a drug, power—with absolute devotion.

Buddhists sometimes discuss gradual or sudden enlightenment. In early days, it was stressed that all of us share the same enlightenment, to be discovered through spiritual practice. Rumi says it so clearly: “Work. Keep digging your well. Don’t think about getting off from work. Water is there somewhere…Submit to a daily practice…Your loyalty to that is a ring on the door. Keep knocking… and the joy inside will eventually open a window and look out to see who’s there.� A relationship with a spiritual teacher can be authentically devotional, but I think that it is private, humble, not bloated up, and, as in my case, perhaps lived intensely for only a limited period of time. But even in 1977, the community around Master Da was still predominantly about spiritual practice, service, study, community living, yoga & sitting in meditation on a regular basis.

I confess that I loved Adi Da until the day he died, and that love will continue in some form for the rest of my life. He was a special teacher who showed me so much about meditation and the “Path of No Seeking.� At the same time, Adi Da, for me, was always only a human being, like any other guru.

Thanks for allowing me to share with you and your readers. There will be places where we don’t agree entirely, but perhaps others where the similarities of our thinking far outweighs any differences. This may become real conversation. Please feel free to communicate/disagree/encourage/blast me at morganzc@hotmail.com.

Peace to all in 2009! May Adi Da rest in Peace.

Morgan